IN THE PRESENCE OF MINE ENEMIES Eden Jersak

I find myself in the jaws of distress and danger once again. I have left the spacious place with all its benefits and blessings, and have traded it for the precarious jaws of distress. But I hear God calling, wooing me from that dangerous place to the table that is in the spacious place. (Job 36:16)

I turn from my distress and I follow the Good Shepherd back to the wide open spaces of safety. There in the midst of freedom is the table. I sit down, still stinging from the wounds the jaws of distress inflicted, and I survey the table. All those same wonderful things are still in abundance on the table only I’ve lost my appetite in the midst of what I’ve just gone through. So while the blessings on this table are exactly what I need, I’m not able to partake, I can’t seem to consume the very things I need the most.

And then I look up from the table and I see my enemy standing there (Psalm 23:5). When I used to read this passage I imagined “the enemy” standing there. It was easy to sit and eat when they were someone or something that I only equated with pain. It was easy to sit smugly and enjoy my feast when the enemy present was an “evil-doer”, but more recently I have begun to put a name and face to that enemy. It’s no longer some red faced, horned, fork-tailed creature, but a living breathing person (and often someone I love). Now they stand there watching me at this banquet laid out for me, and I’m to enjoy this table in their presence.

Love your enemy. Bless those that curse you.

I have a lot of questions. I was wooed here to this table, and my enemy is present and seems to be there with permission. Was my enemy invited to this table as well? Why on earth am I supposed to eat in front of them? Why am I being honoured with lavish blessings in their presence? Why is it so much harder to receive with them standing there? Now that they have a name and face it changes everything. They stand there in the place of the enemy and yet I know that they love both God and me. The enemy is supposed to be my enemy and not someone I love!

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.

The foundation I stand on is beginning to shake and I begin feeling unsure of myself. A bigger question creeps into my mind and I’m not sure I want to know the answer. If someone I love and who loves God can stand at my table in the place of my enemy, at whose table do I stand in the place of the enemy? Is that possible? Would I be considered the enemy in anyone else’s life? Not in an evil devilish sort of way, but as someone who is able to wound and hurt those around her. So where does that lead?

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.

Why has this table been prepared for me in the presence of my enemies? I’m convinced this isn’t some cruel or mean joke on God’s behalf, so then what is the point? Why would the “jaws of distress” be invited to my safe place? I was just rescued from that very thing? What on earth is God up to?

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.

I look back down and consider the blessings that God has prepared for me on this table. My questions stop for the moment and I focus on the Good Shepherd beside me. I see compassion flowing out of his eyes. Compassion for me, the one he has rescued out of his delight for me (2 Samuel 22:20 NIV). I see love for me that overlooks my foolishness at being caught in those jaws again. I see mercy for any other role I may take at anyone else’s table. And I see grace for me, that I may be invited to this table and to be given this wonderful banquet of blessings without any sort of merit on my part.

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.

Then a thought dawns and I am horrified by what it suggests. How often have I been the enemy at God’s table? How often have I stood there in contempt and watched? I can handle the reality of being at some other persons table as the enemy, but at God’s own table? Shame and deep grief are rising up in me and I want to flee from this place. I want to run away and not let this truth be seen by my enemy. But then we look at each other, my beloved enemy and I, and I see in them that same shame and grief, we mirror each others hearts. What if I am the enemy at my own table?

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.

It is true. I have sat in both roles at this wonderful banquet of blessings that the Good Shepherd has prepared for me. He has invited me twice. He wanted to make sure that I would be there, that I would be blessed.

Can I love this enemy? Can I bless this enemy? Can I share compassion and mercy, grace and love? Can I invite this enemy to my table? Can I invite my beloved enemy to sit at this table to be blessed? Can I bless the one who has cursed me and love the one who has hated me?
My questions remain.

Love your enemies. Bless those that curse you.